Messed Up
by SkittleBrained
Summary: (Post War) "You don't have to have sex to be unfaithful, Naruto." Finding Sasuke in bed with someone else wasn't that much of a surprise. The accusation that he had already cheated was. And now for once in his life Naruto can't make sense of what his heart is telling him and he knows Kakashi's face is to blame. KakaNaru Past(ish)!NaruSasu. Minor spoilers up to chap. 699
1. The Night

A/N  
Heyo! This is the first story I've _ever_ finished/uploaded (hardly the first I've written, though) so please let me know what you think! Criticism is welcome, flame is not.  
If I owned Naruto it definitely would have ended differently so the younger viewers should probably thank their stars that I'm not the one directing the actual story line.  
This is pretty much fluff with some plot thrown in, it was going to be a one shot but I felt it needed a proper conclusion. Be wary that I think Sasuke is a jerk and have portrayed him as such.  
I have no Beta to my Omega so if there's any mistakes or confusing lines forgive me.  
Enjoy XD  
SkittleBrained

Chapter 1: The Night

The apartment had darkened in the time he had been there but the Uzumaki couldn't find the energy to get up from his spot on the kitchen floor to switch the lights on –that and he didn't think he could manoeuvre himself around the many empty bottles of spirits surrounding him.  
He stared, unseeing, at the ground in front of him, legs stretched out across the tiled floor as the chill coming through the window he had left open upon entering brought a shiver down his spine, his moist cheeks feeling like ice in the slight breeze.

He couldn't get the image of the two bodies tangled on the bed ( _their_ bed), naked and slicked with sweat, out of his head.  
Or the image of Sasuke's unimpressed, unapologetic expression as he stood with his arms crossed over his chest, body still bare as though he had no shame in what he had done to even pull clothes on to hide the forming hickeys on his neck.  
The words he had used to justify his actions -his outrage when Naruto had said he was done with the Uchiha- kept replaying in his mind like a broken record.

 _Four Hours Ago_  
"Don't get all high and mighty with me." Sasuke snapped with a sneer, "Don't think I haven't noticed how much time you've been spending with Kakashi." The words were all but thrown in his face.

Naruto froze for a second in his shock, "What the hell does he have to do with this?!" He yelled, hands clenched into fists as he suppressed the tears threatening to ruin the angry mask he had hastily put in place, "He's teaching me seals –of course I'm spending more time with him!"

"That's bullshit." The Uchiha raised his chin and narrowed his eyes in that infuriating know-it-all expression, "I've seen the way you look at him. The way he looks at _you_." He sneered coldly.

Yet another second where his shock at the bastard's words overtook him, though this time slightly shorter, "Stop fucking around!" Naruto finally growled and gestured to the other teen's naked body to bring the conversation back to what had started it, "You're just trying to find somebody else to blame for your actions! Grow up and learn to take responsibility, asshole, I'm done." He said decisively, spinning on his heels to leave the apartment; to leave Sasuke.

Instead he was grabbed from behind and thrown on the floor, the Uchiha on top of him holding him down before he could retaliate, "You'll leave when I say you can." The boy declared lowly.

The Uzumaki swung at the bastard but his wrist was caught, "Fuck you! I'm not your property!" He yelled, struggling against the hold all the while glaring hotly at his now ex-lover.

"You are." Sasuke hissed and crushed his lips to the blonde's, when he resisted biting down on his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed.  
Naruto threw the Uchiha off him and stood up, Sasuke doing the same only for the other male to throw a punch into his face, knocking him off his feet, "I'm not." He stated firmly.

This time the other teen didn't stop him from leaving, laughing as he called after him, "Don't think I don't know who you're going to go find." He said with that maniacal voice he had that always irked the blonde and Naruto glanced over his shoulder from where he stood at the door, Sasuke smirking knowingly with ice in dark eyes, "You say I cheated, but who cheated first? You don't have to have sex to be unfaithful, _Naruto_."  
 _  
Present Time_  
He was brought out of the memory –dream, he now realized, as he opened his eyes with the fogginess of waking from sleep- when someone kicked his foot.

His eyes lazily trailed up the lean body in front of him to meet the silver eyes staring down at him with slight amusement –beneath that, though, worry, "What are you doing in my apartment, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi tsked, eyes moving from slightly glazed cerulean to count the number of empty bottles surrounding the boy before meeting his gaze again, "Last I checked you were still underage." He pointed out flatly though with little reprimand in his voice.

"Henged into Shizune." The blonde mumbled (because only Shizune would be able to buy this amount of alcohol without being questioned as to the occasion), closing his eyes as he only just now named the emotion that churned his stomach when he met his sensei's gaze, Sasuke's accusation echoing in his ears.

Disapproval seeped into Kakashi's tone, "You've done this before, haven't you?" He asked slowly to which Naruto just offered him a sloppy, cheeky grin, eyes remaining closed both in fear of the feeling surfacing again as well as fatigue.

Silence hung in the air for a long time and the blonde assumed the Hatake had walked off to go shower and change, leaving him to his wallowing since the jounin no doubt knew to respect another shinobi's grief –also took great care to avoid it.  
Instead however he heard the tinkling of glass bottles touching as the man moved them and then a body sat next to his.

"Maa, how pitiful you look." Kakashi remarked in a hum and then there was a sloshing sound, Naruto rolling his head towards his sensei and opening his eyes to see the man swirling a half empty bottle of sake in his grip before pulling down his mask and taking the bottle to his lips, pulling it back with a grimace, "This is shit." He said, disgusted, but took another swig nevertheless.

The Uzumaki was sure he was still asleep.  
He couldn't remember if he'd ever heard Kakashi swear before (the man had always had a way with words and hadn't needed to curse to express himself, or at least that was Naruto's theory) and to have so casually removed his mask in front of the blonde who had been aiming at it for years…

"Oi." He called when the Hatake just kept drinking, ignoring the eyes burning into the side of his face, and he shifted slightly to turn his torso to the man, "Show me your face." He demanded, Kakashi pausing with the bottle at his lips as his eye slid to him without moving his head, amusement clear in the silver orb from whatever expression Naruto was showing.

When he didn't comply the blonde's lips twisted and his head was vague enough that he didn't think before he knocked the bottle out of Kakashi's grip, reasoning that the man could have easily stopped it from slipping from his fingers so the blame for the glass shattered on the floor and puddle of sake wasn't his own. Then his outstretched hand flattened against his sensei's cheek and urged his face towards him.

He stared, mouth parted in awe, for the longest time. Kakashi was beautiful.  
Without his mask he looked so much younger, his jaw sculptured, nose straight and lips thin but perfectly proportioned to his face, quirking into a half smirk after several seconds of the blonde staring.  
But what captivated the Uzumaki was the lone dark freckle beneath the left edge of the man's mouth.

It was so unexpected, and Naruto moved his thumb to press down on the mark as though it would rub off, his sensei chuckling with the action and it was strange for the blonde to be able to see the complete expression when the man laughed but found he liked it.  
He was so handsome… to the point where he put all others to shame (or maybe it was just his alcohol laden mind or his newfound bias), and Naruto was in no way immune to the good looks, his breath hitching and heart racing as he scanned the perfect features made all the more perfect by the 'impurity' on his chin.

"Why?" He asked, finally meeting his sensei's eyes, wetting his lips to bring back the moisture that had left his mouth with the sight, "Why wear a mask when you look like…" His gaze scanned the man's face once again as if to make his point, his hand still cupping Kakashi's cheek and he slowly let it fall back to his side, sitting back into his spot from where he had leant over.

The Hatake pushed out a breath almost in a sigh and searched through the numerous spirits to find another bottle that wasn't empty, only when he had taken a swig did he say, "That's a story for another time." He muttered, glancing out of the corner of his eyes to Naruto and then asked after a bout of silence, "What happened?"

The blonde turned his head away from his sensei, lips twisting into a scowl as he reached for his own bottle, "I left Sasuke." He muttered distastefully.

"What did he do?"

He laughed bitterly at the man's correct assumption that the Uchiha had finally done something that crossed the line, leaning his head back against the cupboard doors and closing his eyes as the pain made its way across his face, "Cheated." He said and, with another bitter laugh, added, "But it didn't count 'cause it was just sex, and he was the last Uchiha and had to revive his clan, plus I'm the only guy he sleeps with so that should be enough. Oh and I should have expected this when we first got together." He recited the bastard's excuses dryly and rolled his head towards Kakashi, opening his eyes only slightly to see the annoyance slash amusement on the Hatake's expression and once again marvelled at being able to see his features twist with his emotions.  
Absently he wondered if the man was a lot easier to read without his mask off or if the Uzumaki had steadily begun learning how to read his sensei's expressions, limited as they were.

"I hate to be harsh," The words already elicited a deadpan look levelled on the man, and he chuckled before sobering and pointing out in a slight drawl, "but it's not surprising."

Naruto pushed out a heavy breath and ducked his head, "Yeah." He muttered and lifted the bottle to his lips, "But that doesn't mean I'm not pretty fucking pissed off." And then he downed the rest of the liquid, delighting in the burn as it rolled down his throat.

"Not hurt?" Kakashi asked curiously and blue eyes slid to him out of the corner of his gaze to see interest in the silver orbs. ' _I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you.'_

"Mm." The blonde hummed around the bottle, releasing it from his mouth and swallowing the last gulp before wiping his lips with the back of his hand, "Yeah, I was -am." He shook his head and scowled, eyes glazing over as he thought back on what had transpired, the corner of his lips twisting into a grimace.

"He said something, though… and that's really been what's messed me up. But it's also kind of made me forget the pain." He fiddled with the bottle in his hands, wondering if he should confess what he had come to realize in the hours he had sat here drinking and waiting for the older male to arrive.

"And…?"

He rolled his head towards Kakashi, locking gazes with the man and simply staring for several seconds, obviously some indication of what he was about to say in his eyes because the Hatake's own widened slightly with shock and his lips parted.

Naruto didn't know he had been leaning towards his sensei or that the man was leaning towards him until he felt warm breath smelling of sake caress his face, "He said…" He wet his lips, sure that he didn't need to speak and not even sure where he got the ability because Kakashi was _so close_ to him and so _goddamn_ attractive and his eyes lidded as he continued in a murmur, "He said that I was the one who was unfaithful… because of the way I look at you."

He could almost feel the Hatake's mouth move against his own with his next words and lidded silver eyes met his as the man asked quietly, "Was he right?"

Naruto scanned the perfect face again, "Yeah." He whispered as his eyes closed and their lips met.

The first thing he noted was that Kakashi didn't kiss like Sasuke.  
Sasuke's kisses were harsh, unrelenting and full of force and had always been an act of possessiveness on the Uchiha's part. He had thought he had liked those kinds of kisses.

Kakashi on the other hand took his time, first planting soft, closed mouthed kisses against Naruto's lips before slipping his tongue into the Uzumaki's mouth to dance with his own, hands soon cupping the blonde's face as one of his held onto the man's shoulder, the other tangling in the hair at the back of his neck.  
Kakashi's kisses weren't about possession or claiming anything, he kissed in a way that had heat spreading through Naruto's body languidly but building steadily, he kissed so that the blonde was breathless, and when the Uzumaki tilted his head and tightened the grip in his hair he complied with the silent request.

The hands on his cheeks moved, one sliding into his hair while the other reached across him and grabbed the leg furthest away from him, urging the blonde to move and soon Naruto was sitting in the Hatake's lap.  
His head tilted down to the man and the kiss deepened, his hands gripping his sensei's shoulders as their tongue mingled, breaths harsh but neither pulling away as Kakashi ran his hands beneath the Uzumaki's shirt with a searing touch and Naruto ground his crotch into the older male's, groaning at the friction.

"Will you regret this?" The Hatake murmured into the kiss even as he gripped at the blonde's hips and encouraged them to repeat the action, shifting slightly so their dicks met at the right point and they both shuddered as they ground together roughly, Kakashi lifting himself to accentuate the friction.

"Will you?" Naruto replied breathlessly, his hands moving to unzip the jounin's vest.

Against his lips the Hatake grinned, biting the younger male's bottom lip that only briefly brought back the memory of the afternoon but was quickly dismissed because the man was in no way like Sasuke with the way he nibbled, sucked and licked at the skin.

"Bed?" He asked when he finally released the now swollen lip, running his tongue along it before slipping through his mouth to dance with his again, hands moving from his hips to explore his ass, grabbing the two cheeks in a tight, greedy grip.

"Later." The blonde muttered to which Kakashi's lips quirked and he grinned, pulling back slightly to meet darkened silver orbs, cocking an eyebrow in challenge, "Can't handle the pressure, old man?" He teased.

The Hatake's eyes narrowed dangerously and Naruto's heart seized in fear at the predatory look that crossed his sensei's expression before he suddenly found himself on his back on the tiled floor, bottles smashing as the man knocked them out of the way and his pants and underwear soon thrown over Kakashi's shoulder.

He only just caught the man pouring what looked to be vodka onto his hand before a cold, wet finger pushed inside of him, "Ah!" He cried out in shock and ecstasy as the man easily found his prostate, arching his back and before he could adjust a second finger joined the first, pumping in and out quickly and ruthlessly as he clenched his jaw to keep himself from crying out, "Kakashi…" The name spilled from his lips in a moan as a leg lifted to wrap around the man's waist, the other bent to plant his foot on the floor to gain purchase –the tiles slightly sticky from the drying alcohol- to lift his hips to allow deeper access.

Lips were at his neck, nipping and sucking and marking him as fingers fucked his hole and Naruto's gut coiled almost painfully, shocked that he could be brought to this point so quickly but his reasoning was simply _Kakashi Hatake_ and that was enough.

He grabbed fistfuls of the man's hair, yanking his lips to his as he growled, "Fuck me already." He demanded just as those fingers hooked inside of him, "Ahh!" His head snapped forward to claim the man's mouth hungrily.

Their kisses were harsh, full of teeth and tongue and _need_ and Naruto broke the contact as his head slammed against the tiled floor when his prostate was hit again and he groaned pleadingly, " _Kakashi_ …"

The man's lips went back to his neck, hot breaths fanning across the already heated skin as his tongue ran along his pulse point, the blonde feeling him shift and he reached between them as Kakashi freed himself, taking a hold of the man's impressive hardness.  
He arched his hips, guiding him to his entrance and as soon as the tip was in Kakashi _thrust._

Naruto shouted an incoherent word as his body was shoved into the floor with the force, sliding back a bit and he wrapped his other leg around the man's waist, heels digging into his sensei's ass as the Hatake repeated the ferocious thrust and this time he met it with one of his own.

A guttural groan lurched up the jounin's throat and the blonde would be comparing it to Sasuke's silence but there were no thoughts of the Uchiha in his mind as Kakashi kept up his unrelenting pace.  
Naruto's hands dug into the man's back over his shirt, probably ripping it with the sharp nails of his original hand, his head lifting to bite and suck at the skin at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, his mouth exploring the skin exposed to him and making sure it would be covered sufficiently with his marks.

Kakashi shifted his head, urging the blonde's face to his to tangle their tongues as their bodies moulded together, hips meeting each other thrust for thrust and the sounds of their slick skin slapping together and their harsh breaths and grunts and groans filled the room, the scent of alcohol and sex filling their noses.

Naruto was so consumed by the man atop him he cried out in shock when fingers wrapped around his dick, the Hatake's grip firm as he pumped him in time with the forward snap of his hips until both became frantic and lost all rhythm.

The blonde bit into the man's bottom lip, their tongues mingling before they had to separate to breathe, Kakashi moving to plant sloppy kisses along his neck, his breath fanning across them chilling the heated skin and Naruto moaned breathlessly, a hand gripping a fistful of silver hair while the other tore at his shirt, his legs tightening around the man's waist.

Heat coiled in his gut and he was bombarded with the sensation of Kakashi's dick ramming into him and his hand yanking on his own. A thumb slid across the top of his cock, smearing the precum leaking and Naruto moaned breathlessly at the touch.

"Naruto." His sensei breathed into his ear, pulling the lobe into his teeth as his thrusts became harsher but at the same time more precise and the blonde was lost in reciprocating them, focusing only on controlling his breathing, "Fuck, Naruto." Kakashi groaned as with each thrust he went deeper and his hand moved faster, his need evident in his voice, "Say my name." He demanded hoarsely.

The blonde's head hit the tiles to keep himself from cumming at the voice he'd never heard before but knew he'd never tire of, the coil at his gut tightening, "Say my name while you cum for me." Kakashi demanded again at his ear, when he didn't his mouth went to his neck and bit down - hard.

"Ah!" Naruto cried, flinching away from the pain even as the coil grew tighter and his grip in the man's hair _had_ to be painful, "Ka-" He panted, the word cut off with a groan as the Hatake bit down harder, "Kakashi!" He all but yelled and the tension in his body grew to a precipice, the next thrust inside of him hitting his prostate and his eyes blackened as he shouted something unintelligible and felt the bliss of release, his load coating his stomach and the fingers still pumping his dick, his body shuddering violently.  
Kakashi stilled above him with a guttural groan, warmth spreading inside of him with the man's seed.  
And then darkness claimed him. 

It was only a minute or two later that he resurfaced, Kakashi still inside of him and lost for breath and when he opened his eyes he was met with a smug grin twisting the man's lips. Naruto glared in response even as his cheeks heated in a blush.

The Hatake chuckled lowly, the sound making the blonde's stomach flutter and his dick twitch, lips on his enhancing the reaction.  
Kakashi kissed him slowly, slipping his tongue through his mouth to meet with his only to draw back before it got too heated, the blonde enjoying the change of pace.  
Sasuke had never kissed him after sex, hadn't even stayed at his side unless he expected another round, just got up and went for a piss or something.  
He'd never been one for that kind of affection –any affection, really, their bodies barely touched when they slept at night.

Realizing where his thoughts had turned he turned his head to the side, cutting off the kiss with guilt filling him –here Kakashi was kissing him like _that_ and all he could think about was…  
"Thinking about Sasuke?" The Hatake's question made his eyes close with a short nod, face screwing up in guilt and unease, "It's fine." The man reassured and Naruto frowned, turning back to him and there must have been something in his expression that spoke of his thoughts because he chuckled, leaning down to peck his lips.

"You two were together for a while. You only just separated, it's not as though you can just stop thinking about someone you've been with, especially when you're with someone else in the same way. It's hard not to compare, ne?" He asked as he pulled out of him, the blonde feeling the absence of the width inside of him, felt the fluid drip from his hole as Kakashi separated from him with a heavy breath, sitting up with his legs folded beneath him.

Silver eyes studied the blonde sprawled out in front of him languidly –his legs open to show the seed spilling out of him, dick limp against his stomach and his shirt halfway up his heaving chest, the tanned skin exposed stretched across well defined muscles splattered with his semen, his cheeks flushed and mouth parted with his short, heavy breaths, his eyes lidded as they peered at him and his neck littered with angry red bite marks... appreciation twisted his lips and Naruto was only half aware of the gaze as his thoughts spun and his stomach tightened in jealousy.

"You've gone through it before?" The Uzumaki asked, trying to repress how upset he was at the idea of Kakashi being serious with _anyone_ or how guilty he felt that he couldn't feel anything else –shouldn't he be happy his sensei had had someone special at some point? Why did it hurt so much? Who were they?

He caught the flash of amusement in the jounin's eyes, _something_ gripping his heart to know the man found his reaction (because he knew he was easy to read so no matter how hard he tried to hide his thoughts Kakashi would still know) funny, but then he said, "I've been on the receiving end a fair bit."

Naruto frowned and sat up, the Hatake offering him a hand and the blonde glanced around them at the mess they had created but couldn't absorb any of it, "Receiving end?" He asked, turning back to the man, his eyes trailing across the bare face with the same fascination as earlier, wondering if he'd ever get used to how attractive his sensei was.

Kakashi rose to his feet and for a second the Uzumaki was face to face with the man's dick –his stomach flipped in anticipation- before he was pulled up to stand, "You've never heard of rebounding before?" The man asked in a deadpan, his fingers trailing down the blonde's forearm to link their fingers as he led him deeper into the apartment.

Naruto glanced over his shoulder at the complete disaster that was the kitchen, more bottles broken than there were intact, the smell of alcohol and sex hanging in the air and there was an evident space were their bodies had been, surrounded by mess, "It'll get cleaned later." Kakashi muttered over his shoulder when he noticed where the blonde's attention had drawn to.

The sound of a door opening drew his gaze back in front of him, the Hatake pulling him into the bathroom and unlinking their hands to turn the shower on, once he had the temperature right turning back to the blonde still staring at him with a vacant look, "Are you alright?" He asked slowly, stepping up to Naruto and his hand reaching up to cup his cheek, caressing it slightly as his eyes searched cerulean.

Was he only just realizing what they had done?  
Was he regretting it? The Hatake's chest tightened at the thought of his relationship with the blonde ending because of this.  
Could he even handle going back to what they had been only 24 hours ago?

The Uzumaki blinked and then frowned, glancing up to meet Kakashi's eyes that were creased in worry but slightly vacant with whatever he was thinking, and smiled weakly, "I'm usually pretty slow after sex. Give me a bit." He explained with a sheepish laugh.

Kakashi didn't look like he believed him, his perceptive eyes searching his for a few more moments before nodding, "Alright. Shower?" He offered with a tilt of his head and a crooked smile.

The blonde nodded and led the Hatake towards the cubicle, stopping just short and turning back to him, taking the step to cross the distance between them so they were almost chest to chest, lifting his chin to meet the man's gaze as his hands rested on his waist. Kakashi's eyes darkened and the corner of his lips curled upwards, his expression almost challenging as he cocked an eyebrow expectantly.

Naruto grinned mischievously in response, the only warning the jounin got before the blonde leant back and reached between them, taking a hold of his shirt and then _ripping_ it.  
Blue eyes lifted to him full of wickedness, hands pushing the fabric off his shoulders, the skin of his fingers (on one hand, because despite the fact that they had loosened the bandages on his other were still there) only briefly making contact with his own in a tease. Kakashi watched his student with interest, the blonde taking the time to study his chest, his fingers reaching to trace some of his scars as his expression fell into one of contemplation and sadness.

"So many." He caught the murmur as the soft touch skimmed along his skin, blue eyes following the touch.

The jounin chuckled and without lifting his head Naruto lifted his eyes to meet his in question, "Not everyone has a Biju to heal them." He pointed out.

The Uzumaki's brows drew together and he turned back to tracing the skin paler than the rest, some scars dipping into the man's chest and others raised higher while some only the different skin tone was a tell of how close Kakashi's had been to death, "Mm." He hummed softly, glancing back up to meet silver eyes again and his hand flattened against his chest, feeling the heartbeat beneath, "They all have stories…" He turned back to the scarred chest and pressed a kiss to one just below his collarbone, reminded of the fact that his sensei had an entire life before team 7 which he knew little about.

"Sometimes I wished I could scar. So I'd be reminded of how precious life is." He murmured against the skin.

Kakashi's fingers traced along his jaw and then lifted his head, Naruto meeting his eyes as he pointed out, "You have other scars." He said and blue eyes lowered, the Hatake leaning forward to press a kiss on his forehead and keeping his lips at the skin as he asked in a playful but suggestive voice, "Weren't we undressing?"

He didn't have to see to know the blonde was smirking, and before Naruto could do anymore damage to his wardrobe he hummed, "How about leaving my pants intact, hm?"

A loaded sigh was his answer and hands were at his hips again, cerulean eyes peering up at him through blonde bangs, teeth showing in a wicked grin as he tugged at the waistline of his pants.  
Kakashi knew what was coming next by the scheming look in the boy's eyes but he still froze as Naruto dropped into a crouch, tugging his pants down his legs, fingers once again only barely touching his skin and the Hatake had no idea how the blonde could do this to him without even _touching_ him.

His gaze was hungry as he met the Uzumaki's challenging stare where he crouched in front of him, once his pants were gone his hands rising to his briefs, plucking at the elastic while Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath at the _intent_ in his student's eyes.

He had always known those eyes would be the death of him.

And then, in the span of a second or two, his underwear was stripped off him and the blonde had risen to his feet, grin wide and innocent on the jounin who was already at half mast just with his little tease show.

"Something wrong?" Naruto _had_ to ask when Kakashi glared at him dryly.

The Hatake was quick to wipe that smirk off his lips as he all but pushed the blonde into the shower, shoving him against the wall and attacking his lips as his hips pressed into the shorter male's almost painfully and his hands clutched at his sides.

"Ah!" Naruto groaned when the jounin pulled back only enough to allow his hand to take hold of their dicks, holding them together and stroking them both to hardness, "My shirt." He reminded the man with the last of his ability to speak, bucking his hips into the hand and sucking in a sharp breath as a thumb pressed hard into his tip, lips claiming his again with more harsh kisses.

"Leave it." Kakashi growled into his mouth, his other hand around the blonde's neck in a distinctly _possessive_ way but it was nothing like Sasuke's possessive because the Uchiha had always seemed angry when he touched him in a way to claim him whereas Kakashi's grip seemed desperate, needing, as though saying 'I'm never letting you go' and Naruto almost couldn't stand it.

The Uzumaki had an arm hooked around the older male's neck, the other around his waist clawing at his back, his shirt water logged and clinging to his skin but the fabric was brushing against their dicks and the extra sensation on the sensitive organ had groans vibrating his chest.

Their kisses were interspaced with harsh breaths, hair long since soaked and the locks hanging limp over their faces dropping water into their gaping mouths but the moisture was sorely needed as their bodies pressed into each other as close as they could with Kakashi's hand between them.

Naruto groaned when the man's grip tightened and moved faster, their precum mixing with the water falling down on them making his efforts seamless, heat and tension pooling low in his gut and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer as he separated his lips from the Hatake's to taste his neck, sucking and biting on the wet, heated skin.

Kakashi's harsh breaths were at his ear and his hand was pumping their dicks so _fast_ and so _tight_.  
The feeling of the other man's cock against his own, the water pelting down on them but the taller male's body shielded his from the downpour so the heat of their bodies mixed with the moisture of the air was drowning his senses, that tension and heat and hunger and _fucking ecstasy_ building low in his belly and _god_.

"Naruto." The Hatake's breathy moan was what made him snap, spoken low and thick with desire and the blonde had never done it before because Sasuke _hated_ it but he bit down on the part of the man's neck his mouth currently occupied, stifling his groan as he stilled and came – _hard_.

Kakashi's hiss and more frantic tugs on their dicks as Naruto's load kept spilling told the Uzumaki his actions had been welcomed.  
Two strokes later the man buried his face in his hair and he pressed him harder against the shower wall with his own release, body shaking as his seed mixed with the blonde's in his hand.

Their heavy breathing was the dominant sound despite the water still falling onto them. The Hatake's forearm planted on the tiled wall above Naruto's head and his hot breath pushed into his hair while the blonde's face pressed against the man's shoulder.

"Fuck." Kakashi would have groaned had he not been completely breathless. Had he just cum that hard from a simple joint hand job? Straight after sex, as well?

The Uzumaki laughed into his shoulder, leaning back after pressing his lips to the skin, "Not bad, sensei." He said as he rested his head on the wall, chin tilted up with a teasing but sloppy smile and the Hatake pulled his head back to smirk at the blonde.

"Not bad yourself, _brat_." He retorted and watched irritation flash through cerulean eyes before he bent down to take his lips.

Naruto responded to the kiss lazily, each movement of their lips languid as well as gentle and the water dripping down their faces joined the kiss.

Kakashi leant back after a few moments and frowned as his eyes scanned the blonde's neck to see his love bites had already healed, his fingers lifting to tap the skin with disapproval, "I never thought I'd say I hate your healing ability." He muttered when the younger male frowned in question.

The Uzumaki's grin was crooked, his head falling to the side as his eyes lowered to the man's neck where the angry red bite mark was forming, lifting again and with slightly squinted eyes he said informatively with a hint of cheek, "I've hated your mask for a long time."

"Hm." The Hatake smirked, bending down again to press a quick kiss to the blonde's swollen lips before pulling away, "We should probably shower _properly_ before my hot water runs out."

Naruto raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, "That wasn't showering properly?"

-  
It was early morning when they finally decided they couldn't spend the rest of the night and day screwing around in bed (or on the kitchen counter or the couch or the floor or in the shower – _twice_ \- or every flat surface in the apartment) but even as they lay curled into each other they couldn't sleep.

Naruto traced patterns into Kakashi's chest, his bandages discarded to show the ghostly white skin of his implanted arm and normally he hated the contrast of colour but against the other male's skin it almost seemed _normal_.  
He felt as though he was in some kind of trance as his fingers made pattern's out of the man's scars.

Kakashi had his hand on the blonde's hip, thumb rubbing circles into the tanned skin and his eyes were fixed on Naruto's face as the boy studied his chest, tracing his features as he'd done from afar a million times and he didn't know if it was because he was up close or because he was in his arms but the Uzumaki seemed even more beautiful.

That innocent light in his eyes but wisdom and pain hidden within, cerulean orbs so deep and wondrous that the Hatake was always in fear of being lost in them.  
The twitching of the marks of his cheeks with his lips as though he really were the fox he contained, how open the blonde always was with his expressions, the way he wore his heart on his sleeve –the way he always told the truth even when he didn't speak.

The tanned, flawless skin that now shined with his sweat with the healing red and yellow marks from Kakashi's efforts to make a permanent claim on the blonde.

But all of these features paled in comparison to his heart.  
His love, his hope, his nature that drew everyone too him and how he gave everything to his friends and loved ones without asking for anything in return.  
Naruto was beautiful because of who he was, and that had been the first thing that had caught the Hatake's attention, after realizing how warm and bright and _captivating_ the boy was he began to take notice of his appearance.

"Did you know it'd end up this way?" The blonde's question broke his thoughts, Naruto shifting to meet his eyes, his gaze probing and briefly leaving his to trace his face once again.

Kakashi's grip tightened on the boy's hip, pulling him closer, "I hoped it would." He murmured with a smile.

Naruto blinked and for a moment cerulean eyes lit up but then they dulled and blonde brows furrowed, "I meant with Sasuke." He pointed out.

The Hatake's lips thinned, his gaze lifting from the Uzumaki's to stare across the room but at the same time narrowing and glazing over as he thought of the relationship his two male students shared, "I knew that he came back to the village for you." He said, feeling Naruto's curious and interested eyes on his face but his gaze remained far away, "But I knew –and I don't know if he was aware of it or not- that he wanted you because he felt the need to make up for you getting him to admit he was wrong. He wanted to prove he was still superior over you by making you his." He explained and glanced down to the blonde to see him frowning as he thought on his words.

His hand squeezing the boy's hips to draw his attention to him, "I don't know whether or not he had that agenda in his mind, but I have a feeling he didn't. Sasuke's very single-minded when it comes to his feelings. He makes an assumption about them and focuses on it, and his assumption is usually pure in his own mind." He murmured, trying to reassure his student that the Uchiha hadn't set out or was trying to use him.

Naruto's lips straightened into a thin line and he shifted so his arm was underneath him, lifting his torso up as he studied the Hatake's expression –searching for what, the man didn't know- before frowning, "And me?" He probed, "What did you think of my part in the relationship?" Though the Uzumaki wasn't sure he wanted to know.  
His sensei wouldn't lie about his observations despite how blunt they might be or whether or not it'd hurt him, the man always honest with Naruto when it counted and often giving him advice he hadn't known he needed to hear.

But it wasn't always advice he wanted.

Kakashi sighed through his nose, realizing the blonde was upset he hadn't shared his opinion earlier, and instead of answering he said, "If I had said anything you would have been offended." He pointed out calmly, blue eyes averting to confirm the line of thought, and his hand left his waist to trail up and down his side, gaze shifting from the boy's face to follow his fingers, studying the golden skin.

"I knew you needed to come to your own realization about Sasuke. You chased after him for so long that when he finally came home you weren't entirely sure of your feelings towards him because you hadn't needed to understand them past knowing you had to bring him back. You're easily confused by your emotions, not like Sasuke is but you just have a hard time distinguishing each one because you feel so much at all times and you're not one to think so much as to name them." He murmured absently, eyes still following the movements of his fingers as they moved up to the blonde's shoulder and then followed the curve of his collarbone, moving down his arm,

"You love Sasuke. But not in the way you think. When he started to pursue you I think you were so overwhelmed by the idea of being with someone intimately that you just decided that must be what you felt and fell into the relationship." He finally turned his gaze back to the Uzumaki's as his hand rested back on his hip, Naruto's brows furrowed and his eyes clouded but when he sensed the Hatake's gaze he focused, offering a small but twisted smile.

"I guess you're right." He said and there was a tone of sadness to his words, of regret and self-depreciation, sighing and murmuring with his eyes narrowing, "When I found him with someone else I wasn't even that hurt –not really. I was just disappointed, there was a voice in my head that just went 'ah, yes', and that was fine by me." He turned back to Kakashi, "I think I was more angry than anything, that he was doing it behind my back and didn't think it was wrong, and the hurt came from realizing that what we had-" His lips thinned and eyes fell to the man's chest, unseeing and glazing with tears.

"Wasn't what you've always longed for?" The Hatake easily finished for him.

Naruto sent him a half-hearted glare, "Am I that easy to read?"

The man chuckled, pulling him closer to kiss his forehead, "I just understand the way you think."

"What happened to being unpredictable?" The Uzumaki muttered petulantly as he shuffled down the bed to tuck his head into the older male's chest, one arm thrown around his waist while the other rested between them.

Kakashi's arms came around him and his smile was evident in his voice, "You're unpredictable because you know your heart so well and you don't hesitate to follow it. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you completely dumbfound me, but most of the time I can predict your reactions –to a small degree." He chuckled lowly, "Took me a while."

Naruto's lips twitched and happiness fluttered in his stomach, "Been watching me for a while, hm sensei?" He asked in feigned reprimand, closing his eyes and the smell of sex and sweat and _Kakashi_ was prevalent in his mind.

The arms tightened around him, "Yes."

He allowed his smile to follow him into sleep.


	2. The Day

Chapter 2: The Day

Cerulean eyes opened, clear of any fatigue or fogginess from just waking, and lifted to the man above him, tracing the lines of his lover's face relaxed in sleep, mouth parted slightly and occasionally his left eyebrow would twitch as though in want of a frown.

Naruto smiled, wondering how many people had seen Kakashi Hatake's sleeping face. He longed to reach out and follow the trail his eyes made across the pale skin (and there was a faint tan line from where the man's mask rested just below his eyes but his pale skin made it hard to see even this close) but he knew any movement would wake the jounin.

He studied the scar that cut through his eye down his cheek, wondering what exactly had happened the mission the man had gained Obito's sharingan, what had happened to 'Rin', what kind of team they had been…  
Naruto knew nothing of Kakashi's past and it had bugged him since he was a genin that the man was such a mystery, after the war and the snippets of information he had heard (not from the man but Obito and his Father's conversations with him –which made him feel as though he had cheated to get it) his curiosity burned brighter and now- now he wanted to know because he knew the end of his sensei's story but couldn't make sense of it because the beginning was lost to him.

Kakashi was so guarded, his numerous scars proof of all the stories he had never shared, and it hurt Naruto that the man knew so much about him, understood him so well while the blonde scrambled to even grasp at what his sensei was thinking.

 _Who's the one who's unpredictable?_ He thought with an inward scoff, sadness filling him and he shifted closer to the body wrapped around him because at least he had _this_. He knew the Hatake like this, which was more than what he knew yesterday and hadn't known he wanted, and he hoped that now the man had opened his body to him his heart would follow.

 _God, did I really just think that?_ His cheeks flamed.

"I hope you're thinking of me while blushing like that." The drawl made his eyes snap to Kakashi's –unsure of when they had fallen to stare at his chest during his inner monologue- to see the man smirking down at him, his arms tightening around him.

Naruto felt heat spread through his body, not in lust but in happiness at the simple _affectionate_ action, and he squinted an eye closed with an embarrassed smile, "Yeah." He said quietly.

The Hatake smiled, somehow managing to shift them in a single movement so their lips could meet, no tongue involved as their mouths moved in sync, softly and languidly, before he leant back and murmured against his lips, "Good morning."

The blonde's smile was content, "Morning." He sighed and then shifted out of Kakashi's hold to stretch, his arms above his head and his hips twisting as he inhaled a long breath before pushing it out of his nose, "I don't normally sleep so still." He admitted as he exhaled, turning back to his bed mate whose eyes had darkened with the Uzumaki's actions (his skin had stretched across his flexing muscles, back arching while his hips slid towards him, his body streamline from fingers to toes, and the Hatake would have thought it was intentional if he didn't know any better) and melted into the bed with a happy sigh.

"I get told off for tossing and turning. Apparently I kick _a lot_." He said with a low chuckle –though it had been the cause of many arguments with Sasuke.

After one last study of the blonde's body Kakashi met his eyes, chest lightening at the happiness dancing in the cerulean depths and twisting the boy's lips, "Well you can't move around if you're being held captive." He pointed out, demonstrating his words by tugging Naruto back into him and then rolling on top of him, faces inches apart.

The Uzumaki grinned challengingly, "Are you going to hold me captive, Kakashi Hatake?" He asked slyly but his voice was almost a whisper.

The man smirked, "I might do." He hummed, about to close the distance between their lips when blue eyes flashed in irritation and Naruto's lips thinned, making him sigh, "Sasuke?" He asked, leaning away from the boy's body –but only slightly.

The blonde's eyes narrowed, "He's outside." He muttered, eyes still clouded as he focused on Sasuke's presence on the street below, impatient and annoyed.

Kakashi felt a wave of anger and possessiveness surge in his chest and to hide what he was sure spread to his expression he bent his head to plant kisses along the younger male's neck, "Don't go." He whispered against the skin.

Naruto sighed and a hand lifted to run soft fingertips along the Hatake's back, "He'll come up here if I don't." He pointed out.

"Let him." He responded swiftly with a bite to the skin, shifting down as his mouth followed the curve of the boy's neck down to his chest, sucking and biting the tanned skin before he took a nipple into his mouth.

The blonde's back arched into him, Kakashi's tongue swirling around the small nub before sucking hard, lifting his head only to allow his breath to cool the wet surface and then taking it between his teeth, when he was satisfied with his job moving to the other.

"I don't want him to see-" The Hatake's hips were lowered and he did this thing where they kind of rolled forward and their dicks rubbed against each other but only lightly but a groan still lurched up the blonde's throat and cut off his words.

"Let him." Kakashi had moved his mouth to his ear without Naruto noticing, his voice nothing more than a whisper but the challenge and possessiveness was clear.

The Uzumaki frowned, sure he had a point when man rolled his hips into his again and his mouth opened as he suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"I don't want him to see your face." He finally managed.

At that the jounin paused and there was a heavy second of contemplative silence before the man growled under his breath, "Fine." He agreed reluctantly and lifted his head from the blonde's chest to meet his eyes and the _look_ in the silver orbs made his breath hitch despite having no idea what it was, something like intent mixed with anger and lust and _something_ else.

Naruto smiled apologetically and the glare in the man's eyes softened, Kakashi sighing and his head bowing for a second before he pushed off the blonde, almost in the same movement rolling off the bed and standing up.  
The Uzumaki decided to remain prostrate for a few moments longer, following the lines of the Hatake's back, even more scars littering the pale skin (Naruto suspected many of them came from shielding his comrades from attacks) but it was his lower half that drew his attention.

Kakashi's hips were slimmer than what he had suspected –in fact now that he looked the man was slim in general, something that was hidden by his jounin uniform- and the blonde had never thought he was an ass man but he was doubting that now with the way his eyes followed the curve of his sensei's backside, watching the cheeks move with his steps in a sort of trance like state.

(Briefly he noted the sinewed muscles of the man's legs, glancing to his arms and even the definition of his back and the strength in his shoulders and decided he needed to train more to match the Hatake's body –but would he _ever_ be able to reach that level?)

Even after the man noticed his stare and turned to him with a pointed look (not in judgement, just amusement) he spent a moment longer to drink in the sight of Kakashi Hatake before meeting his gaze.

He smirked, "You have a birthmark on your-"

"I know." The jounin interrupted curtly.

Naruto grinned, cocking an eyebrow, "Embarrassed?" He asked with restrained laughter –the birthmark on his left cheek looked kind of like a bunny to him and he sure he wasn't the only one who thought that way.

Kakashi huffed, opening a drawer with a little too much force and even with his back to him the blonde could see his jaw was tight, "Just sick of hearing it." He muttered stiffly.

The Uzumaki chuckled at the man's discomfort but then a thought dawned on him, "You hear it a lot?" He asked, trying to keep his worry/interest/fear out of his voice. How many people had seen that birthmark? That face?

Rolling his head towards him the jounin sent him an unimpressed look which then softened at the edges, "Don't go there." He said and Naruto was sure it was supposed to be a command but it came out like a plea.

The blonde frowned for a second, unsure why his sensei was asking that of him and his heart was gripped by fear that he was just one of the others to the man, but then threw the thoughts aside for another day and exhaled loudly, sitting up and hopping off the bed in quick succession, "Well at least it's not on your face." He said before pausing, turning back to the man and smirking as his gaze trained on the mark beneath Kakashi's lips, "The other one, I mean. Hey –is that why you wear the mask?" He asked keenly though he was sure it wasn't for something so trivial.

Instantly the jounin's expression shut down and Naruto's fell with it, regret filling him at even bringing up the topic and breaking the playful atmosphere, "No." He only said, turning back to dressing.

The Uzumaki restrained a mournful sigh, trailing his gaze over the Hatake's back one more time before leaving the room to find his clothes.

His shirt was still damp when he found it after locating his pants (when you throw something on the bathroom floor it tends to go mouldy rather than dry) and he hung it up before returning to the bedroom just as Kakashi zipped up his flak vest, mask already in place.  
His heart was heavy and he couldn't help but feel that it symbolized the barrier in their relationship being put up again –as though suggesting the night hadn't even happened now that everything was returned to normal- as he had since this all began wondering if this were just a one off thing for the Hatake.

Before he could become too consumed by his thoughts he forced himself to ask, "Got a shirt?" For some reason he couldn't get his feet to move past the doorway.

The Hatake was silent as he grabbed a navy long sleeved shirt from his drawer and tossed it at the blonde, Naruto holding it in his hand but his eyes were on the porcelain skin of his right arm, turning back to the jounin as he added hesitantly, "Bandages?"

The man paused and glanced at the implanted arm, silver brows furrowing slightly as Kakashi realized now that this had been the first time he had seen the skin beneath the bandages. His eyes met cerulean again, searching for the reason behind hiding the limb and he was shocked by how much he was bothered when he couldn't read the answer in the usually expressive gaze.

He tensed when Kakashi remained silent as they locked eyes, finally recognising the look in the man's gaze that meant he was trying to decipher his thoughts and he tensed, "Forget it." He said and turned away, pulling the shirt on as he sensed Sasuke's impatience and irritation rising and he fluctuated his chakra to let the Uchiha know he was coming.  
He had to roll up the sleeves, grimacing at how much shorter his arms were compared to the freakishly tall Hatake (he wasn't going to admit the man's height wasn't much taller than the average male), and stepped towards the door to pull his shoes on, those the only things he had had the mind to put back on when leaving the apartment he and Sasuke shared.

His mind so consumed by thoughts of the conversation to come he didn't notice Kakashi walking towards him (and he half blamed the jounin's silent feet) until the man shut the door he was opening, Naruto glancing up to the arm that stretched over his head that had planted on the door.

His heart was racing before he even turned around and saw the Hatake with his mask pooled around his neck, stuttering for a second as his eyes searched silver and found _something_ that sparked hope in his chest. And then lips were on his and a tongue was in his mouth and his arms were around the man's neck as he returned the kiss with equal fervour.

"Don't go." Kakashi whispered between their lips when they parted.

The Uzumaki tilted his head, mouth crooking into a smile despite the fact he was trying _really_ hard to hide it, "Why?" He asked softly.

And for once, _for once_ in Naruto's shinobi career he saw the real Kakashi Hatake.  
He saw the _real_ mask fall and the broken man beneath, saw the vulnerability creasing his eyes and the loneliness in the silver depths, the fear that furrowed his brows and how much his past weighed heavy on his shoulders, the slight shaking of his body which showed how hard it was for him to let anyone else see this and his lips twitching in worry for the blonde's reaction.

It was only for a brief moment, one second out of so many years of knowing the man, but Naruto saw more of his sensei in that one moment than all the others put together.

The moment was broken when Sasuke flared his chakra angrily and it was obvious Kakashi sensed it as well, the mask back in place while his literal one remained at his neck, the Hatake still searching his eyes for his reaction, a small amount of the vulnerability remaining in his gaze.

It was a prolonged silence when they both waited for the other to break the tension building between them, to avert their eyes or do _something_ that ended whatever moment this was until finally Naruto hitched his breath and said softly, "I should go."

His sensei nodded once, straightening and pulling the fabric back over his face, "Me too."

And then they both left the apartment that was still a mess from last night, both left the evidence of what happened as though the closed door would somehow block the memories from their minds and make it so nothing had changed because neither of them knew how it had.

 _What just happened?_ They both wondered as they headed their separate ways, Kakashi to his office and Naruto to Sasuke.

Konoha was in uproar not even an hour later. Kakashi Hatake had been early to work.

Tsunade had cursed and declared she was leaving the village when she came into the office in the morning (because _someone_ had to do the work while the bastard Rokudaime was off doing god-knows-what and she hated that she had actually become _responsible_ –though admitted actually feeling a sense of duty to this job was kind of overdue) and found a head of silver hair bent over the paperwork piled up.  
Which was considerably lower than it had been when she dumped a heap of it on the desk last night to put off until the morning.

There was no way Kakashi Hatake could be doing his job without the world being about to end. Hell, it was probably more of an omen than her winning at gambling ever was.

Many jounin, chunin and ANBU had come and gone in the time since the Senju had curbed her direction from the gates to the nearest bar –most because they'd heard her ranting about lazy jounins and their habits of snapping just when they became Hokage- and all had left with the same fear stricken expressions after seeing the Hatake working diligently.

Kakashi wasn't unaware he had become a spectacle among the shinobi, he wasn't stupid enough to believe half the population of Konoha had entered his office and then somehow forgotten what it was they wanted to speak to him about, and his irritation was growing by the hour as his thoughts spun with the one person who hadn't come to see him.

He turned back to his paperwork.

Naruto took one look at Sasuke -his lips in a scowl, a slim eyebrow arched impatiently, his weight dropped onto one leg as he leant one hand on his hip and the other at his side for easy access to the sword strapped at his back that wasn't actually there- and the Uchiha did the same of the Uzumaki -pants wrinkled with one leg tucked into his sandals, a navy long sleeved shirt that the teen _wasn't_ going to think about the man it belonged to, the sleeves of which were rolled and pushed up his arms, his hair hanging limp over his face and the irritated, hurt look in cerulean eyes- and they both knew neither were in the mood to discuss anything.

"I want an icy pole." Naruto demanded when he stopped a step short of the Uchiha, eyes narrowed in a don't-argue-with-me glare which would be funny considering his demand if it were any other situation.

Sasuke just huffed, spinning on his heel.

The two could get along when the situation called for it. (These situations were limited to Naruto catching the Uchiha in their bed with someone else and Sasuke standing outside their sensei's apartment while the blonde fucked the older man but they had both forgotten all of this in favour of the look in each other's eyes that said they needed the other as a friend rather than an ex-lover.)

Kakashi was ready to channel his inner Tsunade and throw something at the brunette currently leaning against the wall across from him, radiating smugness as he just watched him.  
Silently.  
For the past ten minutes.

The skin beneath his eye twitched but he was determined to ignore the fly in his office in hopes it'd find its way to (thrown out of) the window soon enough.

There was a low chuckle and it took all his effort not to lift his head with a glare at the man but the ex-ANBU obviously saw the tightened grip on the pen in his hand, "Something happened with Naruto, didn't it?" Yamato asked, voice full of unabashed amusement.

Kakashi repeated the mantra in his head about the fly being thrown out the window as he kept working.

"Did you sleep with him?" The question made him freeze _for a second_ but the brunette caught it, "Does Sasuke know?" He came close to growling at the name and the question and the man asking it.

He decided that he spent too much time around his kohai when Yamato obviously sensed his anger and the thoughts behind it and hummed in thought, "Did you tell him?" He asked and then his voice became dry, sarcastically indulgent, as he continued, "Or did you make it seem like it was a one off so he wouldn't do so first?"

"I have work to do." Kakashi only replied, the words spoken through gritted teeth obviously not effective in proving this conversation wasn't getting to him.

"And this is the first time I've ever seen you do it." The brunette retorted swiftly, laughter coating his words and when the Hatake didn't answer or lift his gaze Yamato decided it was time to bring in the heavy artillery, "What was he like?"

" _Tenzo_." His name was a growl (groan) and the man could see the pen bending in the Hokage's grip but still the other male didn't look at him.

"Fine." He lifted his hands in surrender with a shrug, making to turn towards the door, "Maybe Anko will get the answers out of you." He called as though in thought though the threat was clear.

The temperature in the room dropped suddenly, "You won't." Kakashi said and a shiver of fear ran down the brunette's spine.

He hid his fear and looked over his shoulder at the Hatake who had finally lifted his head, his gaze sharpened into a dangerous glare but he had spent too many years with the man in ANBU and then as friends not to see the thoughts behind the steel in his eyes, "And why not?" He asked slowly with feigned innocence.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed, "Because you wouldn't do that to Naruto." He pointed out sternly, a threat hidden under his words that if Yamato _did_ there would be hell to pay.  
Because if Anko knew, the village knew. And the Hatake didn't want to think about the rumours that would spread, not of him (he could hardly care) but of the blonde jinjurriki –and they would spread across the elemental nations with the Uzumaki's infamy.

He couldn't do that to him. It was half the reason he'd never made his affections known to his student.

The façade was dropped and the brunette sighed in defeat, his shoulders sagging and he turned bodily to his senpai with a worried frown, "What happened?" His question was a tired plea laden with sympathy.

Kakashi met his gaze, seeing the sincere concern in them, and then dropped his pen, leaning back into his seat and running a hand down his face, his expression changing from steeled to frustrated as he did so, "I don't know." He muttered but it was close to a groan, so much of his stress and confusion loaded into the statement.

Yamato took his place on the wall again, "Well you're hopeless when it comes to anything that lasts beyond one night," He said casually and ignored the deadpan glare that responded to his statement, "two heads are better than one, aren't they?" He offered with an attempt at an encouraging smile.

Kakashi sighed tiredly and leant forward to press his forehead into the desk.  
The previous night had just caught up to him, it seemed –or at least he was going to blame the lack of sleep because he'd never admit it was his _feelings_ that were wearing him out so much.

Or even that he even had feelings.

Yamato chuckled again.

-  
They found their way to the bench on the path towards where the Uchiha district had been, looking out over the large lake and dock that reached for the middle of the body of water.  
It was strange how many memories were attached to this spot and yet this was the first time they had been there together –at least on purpose.

This had been where it started for Naruto, he realized, when he had walked past to see Sasuke sitting alone on the edge of the dock –feet hanging over the edge, head bowed and hands clenched into fist but a lost look in his eyes as they lifted to stare out over the edge of the water- and had realized that there was someone else in this village who was as alone as he was.

This was where the first spark of kinship had happened.

Was it the same for Sasuke?

He lifted his half of the icy pole to his lips, first licking off what had already melted and then putting the rest of the treat in his mouth, sucking and licking with a delighted hum.

It always brought back memories of his Master, now not so painful to look back on, and since the man had died he had made a habit of sharing them with all of his friends when times got a bit hard or when he just wanted company without words –or he felt that they did. He didn't know why it comforted him so much but he guessed it was just sharing a treat with someone who was precious to him.

He wondered if he could get Kakashi to share one with him. Did the man even like sweet things?  
 _More things I don't know about him._

He felt eyes on the side of his face and glanced to Sasuke out of the corner of his eyes to see the Uchiha's mouth gaping slightly, his torso turned to him and dark eyes widened, not void of emotion but blank -Naruto didn't know why that distinction was important.

He cocked an eyebrow at the expression and Sasuke blinked, mouth closing and his expression shifting into a glare (was that a tinge of pink in his cheeks?) as he practically hissed, "You should pay more attention to how you look when you eat things like that, _idiot_."

Naruto paused for a second, the icy pole still in his mouth and he glanced down to it before meeting the Uchiha's glare again with a confused frown.

Sasuke's stomach dropped in dread when a light bulb seemed to switch on in cerulean orbs, what part of the blonde's lips that wasn't wrapped around the icy pole lifting in a grin.  
Then the Uzumaki closed his eyes and started moaning loudly, pulling the treat in and out of his mouth as his tongue swirled around it, bobbing and twisting his head as he kept _moaning_ and his movements getting faster and the Uchiha was for once frozen in shock because he had never thought Naruto could be such a good actor and it was derailing his train of thought.

After several seconds his gaze finally managed to expand from the blonde currently giving a blow job to an icy pole to their surroundings –the very _open, public_ space- before flicking the Uzumaki in the ear harshly.

"Ow!" Naruto cried, one eye screwed closed as he rubbed the abused ear and pouted at the other teen, "I was just having some fun." He pointed out sulkily, before Sasuke could respond with an insult his eyes falling to the melting icy pole in the Uchiha's hand, "You're not eating yours." He whined.

The dark haired teen's glare intensified, "What makes you think I'd eat it after _that?_ "

The Uzumaki's sad pout became sincere and he lay pleading eyes on the other male, "It's important to me."

Sasuke paused and spent a moment longer scrutinizing the blonde's look before he lifted the treat to his lips, Naruto helpfully turning back to his own icy pole but with a small, satisfied smile.

After a few minutes of the two sitting in silence, only the sounds of nature (the soft wind that blew across the water, rippling it, the few birds in the sky, the dull chatter and hum of the village that seemed so far away) and the occasional chewing as they bit off chunks of flavoured ice surrounding them, Sasuke somehow started to understand why the Uzumaki had been so adamant they do this.

Even after they finished the icy poles they remained in silence, both staring out over the lake with no thoughts but so many at the same time.

Naruto's eyes turned to the stick in his hand, "Jiraiya used to buy these for me." He murmured and Sasuke didn't show any outward reaction but the blonde knew he was listening, and he smiled sadly as he started at something so simple that brought so many memories forth, "He never really showed much affection –it wasn't his style. He trained me, told me to never give up, offered me wisdom and told me off a lot but he always held back from being anything more than my mentor. Maybe he thought he'd lose me like my dad or something." His lips twisted in discomfort before they shifted into a fond but sad smile.

"Then, some days, he'd randomly share one of these with me after I finished training, most of the time I'd fall asleep against his back afterwards and he'd sit there with me… And that was all I really needed to know he cared more than he led on." He felt a tear slip free of his eye, rolling down his cheek and landing on the edge of the stick, darkening the drying sandalwood.

"It was the closest thing I'd come to having a parent's love until I actually met my parents." He murmured, not sure what brought on the sudden heaviness in his chest and tears in his eyes or the urge to speak about the topic he avoided at all costs but Kakashi's words about him being confused about his feelings had something to do with it because he just now realized the man was talking about how he'd never really experienced love and so had no idea what it felt like.

Sasuke eyed the blonde from the corner of his gaze and he could see the Uzumaki's shoulders shaking but knew this wasn't the kind of crying that needed to be comforted.  
Naruto had just figured something out.

He was slow like that – taking years to get a hint, coming to his own conclusions almost too late but then they always ended up being scarily wise and perceptive- and the Uchiha scowled with the knowledge the Hatake had been a part of whatever epiphany the blonde had just had that was hurting him so much.

He could guess what it was about, nevertheless.

Onyx eyes looked out over the lake, a few minutes having passed since Naruto's words but he continued the conversation because he couldn't care less about changing topics out of tact, "So you share these to emulate him. You want to be some kind of parent offering love to your friends so they don't feel unwanted or something?" He asked, making sure to add the sardonic tone to his voice.

The Uzumaki didn't lift his head but laughed bitterly, a hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck and the Uchiha didn't want to admit it but it always creeped him out seeing porcelain skin instead of tan. It was as though the arm was still gone and the implanted one was just a ghostly version, and he slightly pitied the blonde for always having that reminder of what they had done to each other –after all Sasuke's pale skin tone pretty much blended with the implanted one.

He knew Naruto felt the same and that was why he hid it.

"I don't think so." The blonde said, bringing his thoughts back to the conversation, cerulean eyes still focused on the little stick, "I think I just use them to remind myself of the bond I have with my friends. To spend time with them without talking, but at the same time still sharing something that connects us." He murmured and then huffed, leaning back to show his lips twisted into a scowl, "It's stupid."

Sasuke didn't say anything despite his mind swiftly denying the statement. Using something so simple to form a connection -a bond- making it important _because_ it was so simple… he didn't think it was that stupid.

He closed his eyes briefly. _A tap on his forehead, 'Maybe next time, Sasuke.'_

-  
Tenzo had long since left but his words still hung heavy in the air, not repeating in his head but just sitting there, the man's expression implanted in his mind's eye –that pitying, saddened look that had a touch of the helplessness Kakashi would see in mother's when looking at their children.

His lips twitched with his analysis. His kohai must be spending time with that academy instructor, together the two could run a 'mother hen' service where they chased after all the ninja and poked their noses into their business.

His smirk at the imagery fell when the reminder of what had come after the expression pushed itself to his attention as though not wanting him to have a second of reprieve from the simplicity as well as complexity to the man's sighed statement.

 _'It's just three words, senpai.'_

That was it.  
His brilliant answer to how the hell Kakashi was supposed to convince Naruto to continue sharing his bed.  
How he could express himself to the blonde when he had a habit of turning everything into a joke or becoming completely cold when he thought he knew how the situation would plan out and it wasn't in his favour (though if he was going to be brutally honest it was mostly when he didn't want to be hurt).  
How he could tell the ridiculously attractive blonde student of his that he never wanted him to go near Sasuke again, to never go near _anyone_ again.  
How he could repair the damage he had done this morning after realizing he couldn't open his heart to the Uzumaki like the boy had already done for him.

 _'It's just three words, senpai._ '

His shoulders shook with his silent scoff, paperwork untouched since the brunette had left over an hour ago. He made it sound so simple and yet he was telling the Hatake – _cold blooded Kakashi_ \- to do something he hadn't been able to in the entirety of his life.

' _It just three words, senpai._ '

He suddenly stood, disturbing a couple of papers on his desk with the rush of air from his sudden movement, and walked towards the window, climbing onto the sill and pausing as silver eyes narrowed on the village, searching it before he leapt out of his office.

He needed a walk. And he wasn't sure where (better said: who) he wanted his destination to be.

-  
Naruto didn't know how it happened. Really.

One minute he was enjoying the afternoon, relishing in the first time in a long time he and Sasuke had had a genuine conversation, finding things out about the Uchiha and the time he spent outside of Konoha for the first time since the two years he's been back.

They talked about so much that the Uzumaki was bursting with information but still he was greedy for more, drinking in everything the other male shared with him and realizing that _this_ was what he wanted.

He wanted this friendship.

He wanted to be able to talk to Sasuke about things that he couldn't with anyone else because the boy was the only other one who could understand, the only one who could take the darkest part of his past and accept it and he wanted to be the same thing for the Uchiha.

He had been on the edge of his seat, leaning towards the other teen in his eagerness as he talked about his teammates on team 'Taka' and saw the rare hint of fondness in the usually cold onyx eyes, his smile wide and his heart light knowing Sasuke hadn't been in the darkness completely.

He wondered if he could convince Kakashi to allow the three ninja into Konoha's ranks.

And then the next thing he knew the Uchiha's lips were on his (or was it the other way around?) and his tongue was in his mouth and his hand around his neck pulling him across the bench towards him.

Naruto responded because it was Sasuke and he wasn't an amateur when it came to kissing –also because they had been a couple 24 hours ago and despite everything that had happened the blonde still had feelings towards him.

Their tongues battled and the Uzumaki's torso twisted towards the other teen, one of his knees lifting onto the bench as a hand rested between them on the bench to support himself and he leant forward and the other hand moved to cup Sasuke's cheek. His skin was always so smooth.

The warmth of a hand was on his leg and his dick twitched as the heat spread up his thigh to his groin, "Mm." He hummed in approval. The grip tightened.

A face flashed in his mind. Unmasked. Beautiful. _Broken._

When he froze the other male frowned into his lips and the hand at his neck squeezed in silent command, Naruto quickly detangling from the Uchiha and standing before anything else could happen and also because he needed to let out the sudden rush of nervous energy.

He paced two steps and then turned to Sasuke, a dark eyebrow cocked in that infuriating impatient, demanding, inconsiderate expression, "I don't want to be this with you." He finally said, not realizing he hadn't said it out loud yet, and he met the Uchiha's eyes, "Not anymore."

"Why not?" There it was again –that glare, that look that was Sasuke's way of saying he knew better than him and so he couldn't have any say in the decision.

Naruto's hands clenched into fists at just the appearance of the look and they tightened when the teen's lips lifted in a smirk, "Because of _him_?" He taunted, rolling his eyes when he saw the answer in the Uzumaki's gaze, "The only reason you think you love him is because he's started giving you the attention you've always craved from him. He's feeding you that approval you've been desperate for –from him more than anyone else- and you're turning it into something else."

"It's not like that." Naruto said through clenched teeth even as his heart filled his throat and he had to push away his indecision. Kakashi's words about him getting his feelings confused filled his head again.

"How do you know?" Sasuke leant forward and cocked an eyebrow pointedly, knowing smirk fixated on his face, "Even if the two of you fucked it doesn't mean anything. Kakashi's known for being a one night stand, didn't you know?" His voice was condescending.

The Uzumaki's hands were clenched so tightly he could feel skin digging beneath his nails, half sure he was bleeding, "How would _you_ know?" He threw back with gritted teeth.

The Uchiha leant back, smugness and superiority exuding and that bench may as well have been his throne he was so proud, "You hear a lot in the jounin lounge." He said as a pointed jab at Naruto's still (official) genin status.

They had had to reinstate Sasuke into the village because everyone's files were lost in Pein's attack and they had decided to make him a jounin after the end of his probation. Meanwhile the blonde kept getting caught up in stuff that meant he hadn't retaken the chunin exams.

"Kakashi has a reputation that stretches beyond his ability on missions." His voice was almost a purr with how pleased he was with himself and Naruto forced his anger to be more prominent than his fear and self-consciousness, "He's never been with anyone beyond a couple of nights, and his tastes revolve around heartbroken people who're looking for a rebound. I can see his reasoning - they both just want to let off steam, no real desire for a relationship… but I guess it backfires if that someone is desperate for any kind of relationship just because they don't want to be alone."

Naruto didn't know whether to yell or cry, anger at Sasuke's goddamn asshole-y know-it-all smug tone dancing on his nerves but pain at the words which hit him like kunai's to the heart, imbedding him with doubt and insecurity and confusion as to what he wanted or thought. Kakashi's words were in his head again.

 **Naruto _._** He glanced inside his mind to the fox, the Biju's eyes lifted from where he rested his head on his paws, half of him laying outside the edge of his cage, **he's manipulating you. Don't let anyone else tell you how you feel. Kakashi also said that you understand your own heart –so look to it.** He instructed wisely.

 _Thanks_. The Uzumaki smiled inwardly as his inner rage calmed and his spiralling thoughts were interrupted by his friend's suggestion.

Sasuke seemed to notice his tactics had stopped working because he stiffened when Naruto's head cleared, most likely showing on his expression that he had shrugged the teen's comments off before he steeled himself and said firmly, "Don't talk about Kakashi like that." He demanded, dark eyes narrowing but he continued before the Uchiha could make a snide comment, finding his voice the longer he spoke, "Don't talk about _me_ like that. Don't talk _to_ me like that. Don't even fucking go _near_ me until you've figured out why it is you want everyone around you to feel worthless. " He snapped and took a step back from his (ex) lover as though leaving the bubble of the emotions that had filled the air and the strings that Sasuke used to manipulate him with fell away.

He laughed, "I can be with whoever I want. I can _fuck_ whoever I want, whether it's one night or ten or however long it lasts. It's my choice." He reminded the both of them, lifting his chin to look down on the other male as he said definitively, "And that choice is not you. Not as a lover." He shook his head, the words ' _but as a friend'_ going unsaid and he left the Uchiha sitting on the bench.

His body was rushing with adrenalin and he hadn't realized how much he had been caught up in Sasuke's web until he finally freed himself from it and felt like a chunk of himself had come back to him.

A chunk of himself he now wanted to give someone else.


	3. The Rest

MY FIRST EVER FINAL CHAPTER!  
I have waited a _long_ time for this day.  
I apologize for the shortness, it's more like an epilogue than a chapter but the other one wasn't an _ending_ per se.  
I'll shut up now before I have a one sided conversation.  
SB xx

Chapter 3: The Rest

Kakashi stared blankly at the tiled floor of his kitchen.  
He had taken up residence in the space he had found Naruto the day before –what seemed like weeks ago now- having cleaned up the mess they had left behind only because he didn't want the reminder shoved into his face.

The reminder of who he was. What he always was. More than just cold-blooded Kakashi, more than just a jounin of Konoha.

Alone. By his own fault.

He wasn't unaware that he was desired.

And despite what the elemental nations thought he hadn't gone his entire life without feeling anything.  
Of course he had had times where he wanted to be with someone more than just physically.  
Of course he had lost people precious to him and was affected by it.  
Of course every time he killed it scarred him more than weapons or jutsu's ever could.

Of course he could love.

But he never wanted to. Not since the day of his father's suicide.

He was sure it shouldn't have affected him so deeply. Yes, it was traumatic and he had hated his father for a long time –even after realizing his choices had been right. For taking his life, for leaving him when he was so young.

or forcing him to grow up with the memory of his bloodied body lying in the dojo, the tanto in his hands that Kakashi had never told anyone was his weapon of choice because they would have realized it was the one he had strapped to his back every day and most likely locked him away.

He hated the man for leaving him to face his reputation on his own –how couldn't he live with bitterness in his heart after thinking his father had failed the village as well as him?  
How couldn't he become cold and detached and focused on the rules when he knew the cost of caring?

So he locked away his heart.  
And every time he had thought to share it, every time someone had somehow slipped past that wall he built up, he was reminded of that cost.

He had been so scared to care for Naruto.

He had known from the beginning it was inevitable; the boy was the legacy of his sensei, the embodiment of Obito…

But he was also the reminder of that cost _._ So he had distanced himself.

He had focused on Sasuke and told himself the guilt he felt was left over from his past and had nothing to do with the disheartened blonde, had told himself Jiraiya would make up for what he didn't give to the boy –what he couldn't give.

He tightened the lock on his heart all the while knowing the Uzumaki would completely bypass it in the years to come, all the while dreading when the day would come where the cost would once again rip a hole in his heart (what was left of it, anyway).

And as the years went by and Naruto defied all odds and survived things he shouldn't have Kakashi began to forget that cost.  
But in forgetting it he also forgot the other half.

The half where they didn't die but left him all the same.

And now here he sat.

He scoffed bitterly, laughing at his poor pitiful self as he lifted the bottle of sake (strong, expensive, not like the cheap stuff Naruto had brought yesterday but he knew that had been because the blonde needed quantity not quality if he wanted to get drunk) to his lips, taking a large gulp before lowering it back into his lap, resting his head back on the kitchen cupboard and closing his eyes.

The image of the two kissing heavily on the bench interrupted his hazy thoughts. His lips twisted into a scowl.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let himself forget?

Even if it was for one night (although he knew it hadn't been that short of a period he was granting himself that small denial) his oversight had cost him more than what losing his team and his father ever had.

And he hated himself for comparing the two completely different losses but it was all he could do.  
It was all he had ever done.

Naruto stared for the longest time, his brain ticking over slowly.

Kakashi was asleep on the kitchen floor, bottle in his hand on his lap and falling slightly in his lax grip but it seemed it was empty –or empty enough that nothing had spilled onto his pants.  
His head was tilted to the side in a crooked ankle that was surely uncomfortable, legs stretched out in front of him reminiscent of how the blonde had been sitting 24 hours ago, his weapons pouch and headband and shoes still on as though he hadn't even been able to find the energy to take them off.

But it was his expression in his sleep that burned into his mind.

Pained.  
He didn't think anyone could look so haunted in their sleep.

What was he dreaming about? His time in ANBU? When he lost Obito? When Rin was killed? The wars he had fought?

It bothered the Uzumaki that he had no idea of the extent of which each event damaged his sensei's mind, had no idea what he considered the worst or what he was most haunted by. And it bothered him that it bothered him.

Unable to look at the expression anymore he kicked the man's shoe. Kakashi's eyes opened slowly and lifted up his body to meet his gaze tiredly, pain the initial emotion in the silver depths before turning to confusion, sliding from his gaze to the duffle bag slung over the Uzumaki's shoulder.

Naruto didn't wait for the man to ask as he dropped the bag to the ground, "Take responsibility." He demanded flatly, crossing his arms with a pointed glare.

Silver brows furrows and the Hatake lifted his head, obvious in the way he winced that he had been sleeping in that position for a while, "What for?" He asked in a mumble.

The jounin already started listing off all the ways he had wronged the blonde in his mind. He'd be spending the rest of his life (which wouldn't be that long he absently thought –hoped- god he was fucked) trying to atone for how he'd failed his student and it still wouldn't be enough.

The Uzumaki hated the expression on the man's face, catching sight of the guilt he knew was always there but hadn't seen since the day they became genin and he had explained what the memorial stone was, "For messing me up." He clarified and his sensei frowned deeper, meeting his eyes again with the real mask dropped and Naruto's heart sank at the hollowness of his gaze, nevertheless dropping his weight onto one leg, lifting his chin and scowling, "How can I be someone who follows my heart but gets confused by my feelings, huh?"

Confusion was the reaction and the blonde continued, glaring accusingly at the man, "Now I'm confused about what my heart's telling me because I can't make sense of my feelings and that's never happened to me before and it's _weird._ And you and Sasuke are making me realize how fucked up I am and how I have no idea what love is and do you know how depressing that is?" He asked in outrage.

Kakashi's eyes creased in pain and he said dully, "Yes."

The blonde's lips thinned as his train of thought was stopped by the unexpected answer which he really should have expected but he still snapped, "Don't make me pity you." The man's eyebrows arched with the same dull look in his eyes and Naruto struggled to hold his glare, "You're to blame for this." He reminded him hotly.

"What happened to Sasuke being part of the blame?" The Hatake's head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed with the Uchiha's name, the memory from earlier pushing its way forward.

His face screwed up in distaste, "That's different."

"How so?" He pressed. Because he wanted to be with Sasuke?

For the first time since starting the conversation (argument, but Kakashi wasn't arguing back so it didn't really count) Naruto's gaze turned away, not in shame but to glare at something as his brows furrowed in anger, "Because he's to blame for messing up what I thought I felt this morning –last night. And for being a cheating dickhead who ruins a perfectly good conversation by trying to get into my pants." He growled.

At that the Hatake's interest perked, some of his grogginess lifting by the time the blonde turned back to him and he studied the irritated glare on the boy's face to finally see the frustration in it, the Uzumaki kicking his shoe again to accentuate his next words, " _You're_ to blame for screwing me like that and then pretending like nothing happened and giving Sasuke the opening to mess me up." He declared definitively.

Kakashi was already shocked by the words even before Naruto buried the last nail in his coffin ( _sanity_ ), the blonde's expression softening and he frowned in worry, asking in a voice loaded by sadness and pity, "Doesn't it exhaust you to hide how you feel all the time? Doesn't it hurt?"

But Kakashi wouldn't be Kakashi if he didn't avoid answering the question, clearing his expression and his fatigue was pretty much gone as he scrutinised his student all the while trying not to fall into the honest, _certain_ cerulean eyes, "What makes you say that?" He asked slowly but couldn't force himself add feigned curiosity to the question like he should have to make it believable.

Naruto's chin lifted and his eyes narrowed, "Because I may be slow but I'm not blind." He declared, "And the way you look at me has changed. And I've never been looked at that way and I've been looked at _a lot_ of ways so I know it's the one feeling I've never known. My feelings are completely messed up, I know, but I also know it's not only my heart I understand but it's yours as well - because we're the same. Completely opposite, but still the same." He said with conviction and Kakashi's heart was racing and he didn't know whether it was fear or happiness that the blonde had realized what he wasn't able to say, the Uzumaki's entire body relaxing as his lips lifted at the corners and the man never knew there was a hint of falseness to Naruto's smiles until he saw a genuine one.

"You're in love with me, aren't you?" The Uzumaki asked, voice somehow _warm_.

The Hatake's lips parted, his eyes widened on the blonde who was watching him -and he was right, the blue eyes were looking at him in a way he'd never really been looked at before so he knew what the emotion was by process of elimination.

He knew he didn't need to answer, only closing his mouth and returning the smile, "Doesn't it exhaust you being so perceptive all the time?" He asked softly.

Naruto grinned and snorted, rolling his eyes, " _Please_." He scoffed, mischievous eyes on his sensei as he smirked, "You're just easy to read."

That night they decided they weren't going to leave the bed (or the kitchen counter or the couch or the floor or the shower or every flat surface in the apartment) for as long as they could.


End file.
